EAST LANSING, Mich. (WLNS) – Are you and your partner having issues coming to a consensus on how to discipline your children? Claire Vallotton, a Human Development and Family Studies Professor at MSU, has some tips.

She says parents might have different childhood experiences of discipline and guidance.

Vallotton says the first thing you need to do is talk about that before you have kids, and especially before you have a toddler that needs guidance in their behavior.

Some of the questions you might want to ask yourselves are: What do you believe are the strategies that work in discipline and guidance? What are your goals for your children?

“What are your long-term goals for your children in terms of their behavior and character? What do you want them to understand about your family and about themselves and how they should meet your family’s expectations? What are your beliefs about why children do what they do? Do you believe that they’re just being defiant, or egocentric, or do you believe that they’re really just overall children are born good and they just need some guidance to just figure out life? Because that really underpins a lot of how we approach discipline,” said Vallotton.

Remember that one parent might have a really good way of connecting with their child when they’re upset
and that specific approach might not work with the other parent.

Each child is different as well, meaning the approach and strategies you take with one child might not work with your other children.