It’s Parenting Connection Tuesday and 6 News is here for you with tips, strategies, and helpful reminders from local child development experts on how we can be better parents and guardians.
Today’s topic: How to stay away from three common parenting traps.
Despite generation after generation of passed-down wisdom, knowledge and experience there are three “traps” parents fall into that experts say, if not realized and corrected quickly, can become a bad habit your kids use all the time against you… that usually ends with people screaming or yelling.
The first one is the Escalation Trap.
It can go two ways… when your kid whines and begs louder and louder until you’re worn down and you eventually give in… or when the child only responds to direction after the parent needs to continually repeat instructions until voices are raised. Dr. Rouse with the Child Mind Institute says, these traps only teach kids the only way to get anything done is to yell. The remedy to stay away from this trap is staying calm. Of course, that’s easier said than down, but experts recommend ignoring any behavior directed at changing your mind until your child calms down. Then, make sure you remain consistent with this way to respond. On the flip side, if you want action from your kids and they don’t respond, experts say, only repeat your request once or twice, without escalating, and then let them know that a consequence will follow if you don’t get results.
Trap #2 is buying into the ‘It’s Just a Phase’ mindset.
Experts say, many parents fall into thinking that any problematic behavior will go away on its own… wrong. Dr. Rouse says, it’s important you always respond to what’s off limits — coupled with praise when the child doesn’t engage further in the problematic behavior.
Trap #3 is the ‘You Do This on Purpose’ Trap.
This is when parents think a child’s behavior is done intentionally to annoy you. Experts say, the danger here is that when you think a child is doing something on purpose to bother you, you’re going to respond differently. They say the next time your kids act out or ignore you, try to remember that they haven’t developed any self-control skills yet.
Experts say, once you begin to see a trap about to happen you can start avoiding them – that’ll also help your kids to gradually begin to act more appropriately as well.